Some Thoughts I Found Interesting

Author: Adam Turney
The other day I was sitting at lunch with my fellow teachers and wondered aloud, "Why do we call a hamburger a hamburger if it isn't made from ham?" It was a rather profound question that they expected me to expound upon and provide an answer...I didn't have one, that is why I asked the question.

Then the other night as I lay my head on my pillow I wondered, "How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn’t have that dangerous beak."

Before I went to sleep I was watching a show about a killer on death row that was being executed by lethal injection. I wondered what it would be like in that situation. "If I was being executed by injection, I’d clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I’d say, ‘Injection? I thought you said `inspection’.’ They’d probably feel real bad, and maybe I could get out of it."

On my way to work this morning I came to an important discovery: "Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are."

As I sat on the toilet Saturday afternoon, meditating, I thought to myself, "You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he’s real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea."

Last Monday at school was Hat Day, but I really don't like wearing hats because they mess up my hair and make it harder for me to see. However, I think a good product would be “Baby Duck Hat.” It’s a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then all of the sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man those ducks really take off! Also Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

These are just some thoughts that I read about that I found interesting...and thanks to Mr. Handey for providing me some good laughs.