Sunday, January 31, 2010

{Take my Hand}

Tonight my heart is heavy and emotions run high. A dear friend of ours has just informed us of some tragic news.

Our friend has been having some pregnancy complications. She is about 22 weeks along with her baby boy and she got some very serious news about the condition of her baby.

After a few days of wondering what could be going on she called tonight to tell us what was going on. It seems in her last ultrasound they discovered that this little body that is other wise growing perfectly normally and healthily is only developing one half of his brain and the other half of his scull is simply filling with fluid. When discussing what this means for her baby it turns out that the quality of life will be very poor and basically he will have to live in a special bed if he does live at all.

She said all she needs right now are prayers. I have sent her a message telling her that we will pray for her and her little one, and I also told her that in our church Adam holds the priesthood which means that he can give a special blessing for the sick and other wise afflicted. Adam said he would give her a blessing if that is what she desires.

My heart reaches out from one mother to another. I don't even know what to pray for...I pray for comfort, I pray for her health, and I just pray that he will be able to fulfill his purpose on this earth to whatever capacity that might entail. I also thank God for the health of my little one. As I think about the little baby I believe as a mother you would almost want your child to be missing a limb or even hearing or sight if only to experience some aspect of this life.

I'm grateful for the knowledge I have of Jesus Christ and his atonement and that families are eternal. I'm grateful for my faith in his infinite wisdom because I cannot understand why this is happening to my friend but I know that there is a plan and that Heavenly Father is with their family.

This picture of Christ and a little boy by Greg Olsen is titled "Take My Hand" and I think that we all need to reach out and take the Savior by the hand so that we may be led through the darkness of things that we cannot understand into his perfect light and love.

Friday, January 29, 2010

{Baby Blue Eyes}

When Adam and I would talk about the little baby growing inside we never even considered the possibility of any eye color other than brown/hazel. In fact, Adam often lamented that she would have "plain old boring brown eyes." I like my brown eyes so it didn't matter to me if Hannah had brown eyes too.

When she was born she had navy blue eyes just like every other baby. We just kept waiting for them to change and after about three months of waiting we began to hope that she would be blessed with beautiful blue eyes.

Not very many people on either side of the family has blue eyes. I'm glad that my Hannah can share the recessive trait with a few special people. My Granpa Alan has blue eyes along with my Grandma Phyllis (Dad's dad; Mom's mom) and then her Uncle Sean has blue eyes. Her Uncle Addison has blue eye...(one is green) and so Hannah is with a good group of people.

When Hannah was born and they handed her to me, staring into her beautiful eyes was the most joyful reward after nine months of waiting. She looked at me calmly, serenely. She was very alert for the first two hours after birth (until she decided it was time to sleep) and kept looking around the room with those big eyes. Now it has been six months since I looked into those eyes for the first time. Every day those blue eyes search wildly trying to drink in every new experience. Her blue eyes make her unique but it is the curiosity behind those big blue eyes that make me love them.

A Gift From Adam

Some of you may have noticed that I have been posting book reviews. "Oh," you may say, "Melissa is getting into reading." After all, I've incorporated a gadget on my sidebar tracking the books that I am currently reading, and books I have completed this year. So far in the month of January I have completed 3 books and I'm on to another.

This is not a new development. I love reading. It has always been a passion of mine and in recent years I have been unable to read as much as I've wanted to. I have found some good series and read some fantastic books in the last three years but I haven't been able to do read as I have wanted. The audio book is something I have enjoyed (especially after I got honked at for reading New Moon at red lights) and has helped me to continue to listen to good literature (once at Wells Fargo I spent three days with my Ipod in my ear with my hair covering the earbud and the wire taped to the back of my neck).

When we moved we had no proper book case for our home and for the past several months my precious books have been hidden in boxes revisited only occasionally. A few weeks ago Adam decided to go out and buy a book case for our little friends so they could come out and play. Thanks to Adam I have a beautiful book case which sits at the top of our stairs. I'm afraid that I will fall down the stairs one of these days because I keep looking back at how great it looks.

I asked Adam for a favor as well. I asked him if he would buy me a book every month with his own ushering money so that we can continue to increase our library. He agreed (although this month he ended up buying 11 books for him, Hannah, and me).

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Book Review: The Glass Castle

“When dad wasn't telling us about all the amazing things he had already done, he was telling us about the wondrous things he was going to do. Like build the Glass Castle. . . All we had to do was find gold, Dad said, and we were on the verge of that. Once he finished the Prospector and we struck it rich, he'd start work on our Glass Castle." Pg 25

I just finished reading the memoir The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. I decided this book would be a good "cabin book" that my aunts would enjoy passing out to the cousins and telling them if they would read it, they would appreciate their charmed lives a little more. At times I didn't know if I was enjoying it or just trying to make it through the book. All I know is that this is a true Cinderella story.

The story describes the childhood of Jeanette Walls. It begins as she is leaving her Park Avenue apartment in a town car. As she drives to a lavish party she passes a homeless woman in the street and immediately realizes to her horror that it is her mother. Ashamed, she hides and rushes back home. Then unfolds the story of her childhood as her family wanders from city to city each time her father promises that it is only a matter of time before they strike it rich and together they will build the Glass Castle and live in the lap of luxury.

As the story progresses Jeanette sees how the world views her and her family, her rose-colored glasses come off. After years of roaming around the desert Southwest, the family eventually moves to their father's family home in Welch, West Virginia.

She suffers sexual abuse from her childhood neighbor (she reacts by trying to shoot him at the age of 8) her uncle (her mother reacts feeling sorry for the uncle and says that molestation is a crime of perception) and her brother is the target of their grandmothers sexual abuse.

She adores her alcoholic father but recognizes that he is no good for the family. At 12 years old she urges her mother to leave him so that they can get welfare and be able to eat (at one point they are eating a stick of butter mixed with sugar). The New York Times review says that in the fairy tales there is often a loving parent and a sadistic evil parent but in this book the father and mother each take turns playing dual rolls.

It is a profound book. One that will have you laughing and rolling your eyes in one moment and cringing or crying the next.

It has a happy ending obviously. Jeanette and each of her siblings gradually escape to New York. The children are brilliant and self reliant, taking care of each other and each succeeding in their own capacity.

I like that the book was written in a matter of fact tone. Walls never seems like she is saying "woe is me" and seems to still love her parents in spite of their gross flaws.

I recommend this book to anyone who thinks they "had it rough" growing up, or anyone who needs to have a humbling experience.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Guest Post

I wrote another guest post for the blog Becoming Lovely...

Check it out!

You will learn something new...a deep dark secret about my flaws (I didn't think I had any right?)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Little baby growing up.

***Warning*** This blog will be all over the place because my thoughts are all over the place.

I have friends that cry when their baby learns to crawl or walk or get teeth or learn to eat solid foods. I am not one of those people. I revel in every success Hannah experiences and I get excited when she learns new things. I am proud and happy--

However...(of course there was going to be a however)

...every 3 months when I have to go through her clothes and change sizes I fall apart. I get excited when she learns new things and gains independence on a week to week (sometimes day to day) basis but when I have to wash and pack away all those beautiful clothes that I've taken pictures in, watched her crawl in, and learn all those beautiful wonderful new things...I absolutely fall apart.

Of course Adam can't do it for me. He wouldn't even know the first place to start. I end up doing it all alone while Hannah is asleep or Adam is with her and it absolutely kills me. The last time I did it I also put away her bassinet and she moved into her own room.

I have decided there are a few reasons why it is hard.

1) The memories you have with those clothes, washing them, putting them away, thinking of your little baby wearing those clothes you grow to love them because they are a part of your baby.
2) Each time you do it you think...didn't I JUST do this? How did she grow so much so fast?
3) Not only that but you think about the FIRST time you did this. So overwhelming, wondering if there were enough little clothes to keep her warm, would she be comfortable, she was with me then inside me, growing and getting ready to come while I prepared her room and our home for her.
4) You aren't packing clothes because she doesn't like them. You are packing clothes because she will never again fit into those tiny outfits.
5) I know this is a stretch but I'm crazy...I think about when I was packing all my clothes to move away from home and how it didn't seem that long ago that my mom was helping me pick out clothes and doing my laundry and it doesn't seem far away.

So now that I had my little pitty party I decided to check Facebook while I waited for her new clothes to process through the laundry. My friend Johanna had posted "Julian will be a year old next week, I've been looking foward to this day since the day he was born! :)" How could she be so excited for his birthday? Her little baby was growing up! Well, Johanna's first baby died when he was only three months old.

That's when I decided to change my perspective. I want Hannah to grow up and get bigger. In fact I want her to be an old lady one day. Hard to imagine but I want her to continue to learn and grow big and talk and walk until she walks away from home and starts her own life because that's what life is all about.

Alright...I've ranted and I'm going to continue to put Hannah's things away. Tuck them away into our attic and move on to our next set of clothes which we will love just as much and be just as sad to pack away until our next baby girl comes along.

It doesn't help that it is raining outside.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Book Review: The Book Thief

"You could argue that Liesel Meminger had it easy. She did have it easy compared to Max Vandenburg. Certainly, her brother practically died in her arms. Her mother abandoned her.

But anything was better than being a Jew."

-The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, page 168

This book has wrapped itself around my brain and made a dent in my heart. I have about 100 pages left and I do not want to finish it. I know what is coming. I want to avoid it. If I don't read then it won't happen...but I can't put it down.

This book by Markus Zusak is written about WWII Germany as told by Death. That's right. It is a book about Death, through the eyes of Death. You would assume that it would be dark but Death is actually very articulate (hmmm thats a surprise) when it comes to finding goodness and beauty in a time of war and hate.

Liesel Memenger is our protagonist. She and her brother are sent to live with Hans and Rosa Huberman on Himmel Street (Himmel = Heaven) but before they reach their destination Liesel's brother dies. Liesel steals a book at his grave (The Gravedigger's Handbook) as a final tolken of her brother. Although she cannot read she becomes fascinated with words and through midnight lessons with Hans she learns to love reading and language. "The first book was stolen from the snow, the second was stolen from fire." Liesel starts to steal books when she can (like from a book burning held in honor of Hitler's birthday). Words and thievery become a distraction from the harsh realities of life on Himmel street. There is a boy named Rudy (who happens to be my favorite) and a Jewish fist fighter named Max who hides in the Huberman's basement at great emotional and physical cost.

The book is written so beautifully. Certain phrases will stay with you for hours, days even. The perspective is genius.

So now I will go finish the book (sigh) and finish the review when I am done.



I cannot say enough about this book.
One thing I loved is that it was full of powerful lines and observations delivered by Death. Time after time there would be an observation that would leave me pondering for hours about life, death, hate, or love. Death is very compassionate and although he is Death he asks the same questions that the rest of the world asks about the ways of the world.

"I wanted to tell the book thief many things, about beauty and brutality. But what could I tell her about those things that she didn't already know? I wanted to explain that I am constantly overestimating and underestimating the human race-that rarely do I ever simply estimate it. I wanted to ask her how the same thing could be so ugly and so glorious, and its words and stories so damning and brilliant."

The relationships that are forged between Liesel and Rudy, Max, Papa (Hans), Mama (Rosa) and even Ilsa (the Mayor's wife) are so beautiful. This book was beautiful and it examines human nature. Rudy was a happy break from some of the heavy material. Yes he was a boy living in the midst of war but mostly he was just a boy. Of their relationship Death says:

"He was the crazy one who had painted himself black and defeated the world. She was the book thief without the words. Trust me though, the words were on their way, and when they arrived, Liesel would hold them in her hands like the clouds, and she would wring them out like the rain."

I loved the Word Shaker (basically a connection between Hitler and Liesel) and the power of words and what they could do:

"The best word shakers were the ones who understand the true power of words. They were the ones who could climb the highest. One such word shaker was a small, skinny girl. She was renowned as the best word shaker of her region because she knew how powerless a person could be without words."

I can't say enough about this book. This book needs to be in every readers personal library.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

It's been almost 10 years...

...since Adam's Mission in Australia.

His wife finally scanned all of his hundreds of pictures.

Did you know...

There are 200 days until August 5th, which happens to be our 4th anniversary?

My parents have been doing a Book of Mormon in 100 days challenge and I thought since Adam and I were so hit or miss at our companionship study we should do something like that--however 100 days did seem a bit daunting so I decided to double it.

I was trying to figure out when we would complete our goal and I found out that our anniversary is 200 days away! What better way to celebrate our marriage than to bond together over scriptures? So tonight we challenge ourselves to get into better habits, to "feast on the word of God" as they say, and read our way to our 4th anniversary of becoming an eternal family.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Food Storage

I have been reading a fabulous book called The Book Thief about war torn Germany. In the book a small family takes in a foster daughter and hides a Jew. They have no money and all they eat for weeks on end is a watered down version of split pea soup.

I love this book and we discussed it last night at book club. The question presented itself "would you share your food storage with your neighbors?" Most said yes, a few said no. I sat there silently, guiltily...knowing that I have yet to start collecting any sort of food storage.

Someone said that basically they believe that we will have to share our food storage--that at a moments notice the bishop may call and say "bring everything you have to the ward and we are going to split it up." They said the first commandment is to GET IT and the second commandment is to SHARE IT.

So now I need to go get some food storage. My aunt Kathy was told by a friend "I may never live to see my food storage go to use, but gathering it is a testimony to my children, to my family that Jesus Christ will come again and that I will follow the teachings of the living prophets." Wow. I need to get on the ball.

So my question is--does anyone have any ideas, suggestions for starter items, cookbooks with food storage recipes, websites, books, that can help get me started?

I want to be prepared for when someone asks to share the food storage. I don't want to be someone who wasn't prepared to share what I have or who needs the help of others who have worked and prepared. This is how I can protect my family.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

{What IS in a name?}

{Hannah Banana with her Monkey}

Recently with several friends pregnant I've been thinking a lot about WHY it is so hard to chose a name. For some it comes easily. This was not the case for us. A friend of ours believes the dumber the name--the dumber the kid. As educators we have found this to be semi true lol.

A quick story. One of my friends is in the Teach for America program and teaches in inner city Maryland. At her school there is a girl named Le-A and the teacher assumed it was pronounced Lea (as in princess) so she was called Lea for a few weeks. It was discovered when her mother came in that she had been pronouncing the name wrong when the mom told the teacher "the dash is not silent." That is right. Le-a was pronounced LeDasha. Wow.

There are unique names (my best friend Rosalie is going to name her first daughter Chaelie combining Michael and Rosalie pronounced Calie) There are trendy names (Addison) and then there are Classic names with Unique spelling (a friend of ours named their son Cyle like Kyle. They pronounce it Kyle but every time I see it written down the teacher in me has a hard time flipping it in my head from how it is phonetically pronounced (like cyclone) to how they want it pronounced--sorry Joy =) Then there are names of Celebrities like Paris. My poor friend has been dying to name her daughter Paris because A) she has always loved the city and B) her husband served his mission there. It is unfortunate that Hilton and Jackson had to ruin it but ya know-- it doesn't mean a regular person can't redeem it!

Megan asked me why we felt we had been prompted to name our angel Hannah. After all it was NEVER on any list, we NEVER discussed it. After 8 months of pregnancy with less than three weeks to go we went to the temple and we were prompted to name her Hannah Elizabeth. I'll admit that I resisted a little at first. After all that wasn't even on our list and she was almost here. We'd just thrown out our favorite name yet (Paige) and we were leaning towards fact while I was laboring in the hospital Adam told me, "someday I'd really like a daughter named Paige" (yeah thanks honey--lets talk about having more kids NOW ok...that will make me feel better).

So I considered WHY we had been prompted to name our little one Hannah. Hannah means "Gods Gift." Elizabeth means "God's Promise." For those of you who have met Hannah you have to know she is one of the sweetest little things you have ever met. She smiles at everyone, she can be passed around an entire room and just love on you when she gets to you. She doesn't cry unless she wakes up from her nap with no one to be found around her. She is just perfect. I'm not saying that just as her mother. She has been sick but aside from her coughing you wouldn't know it because she has the sweetest disposition. Every time I see her she reminds me that she is a gift from God. She also came on her own time. Some of you know that Adam approached me after over two years of marriage and said "I think it is time we start our family." Good timing Adam because little did we know I was already three weeks pregnant. So she was literally gifted to us. I don't know why we were given Hannah without even trying. Many times I don't deserve her but I know that she has made me a better person. I know that I am better because of her.

When we look at our sweet baby she IS a Hannah. There would be no other name. She is not a Samantha, a Brooklyn, a Paige or a Sydney. She is Hannah. So while I resisted it at first, I know that she is and always was Hannah.

Now when we have our next baby we are totally in the lurch because it took us SO LONG to find Hannah a name we better hope we get some inspiration for our next one =)

Someone told me while I was pregnant that a beautiful baby does not need a crazy name to help it stand out. I think there are some beautiful unique names (I really like Chaelie) but I also love the names that are classically beautiful. I love Hannah...the name and the baby :)

Each baby has it's own personality, its own name, and why is it so difficult to name our baby? Because a name is the first gift you give to your most precious possession.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Ding Dong--It's your Best Friend!

I think I've mentioned before that Rosalie Mastaler is one of my absolute best friends in this whole world (next to Adam of course). Rosalie and I met en route to Russia four years ago as two love sick fiances missing our men and bonded over the fact that we'd left them and would be married within a week of each other in August.

This girl is INCREDIBLE! Very talented and fun and I just love her.

Saturday night her and her cute sister in law surprised me by coming to Vegas to hang out for an all girl weekend! She called Adam and asked him to coordinate her arrival.

We HAD SO MUCH FUN! It meant so much to me that she would decide to make the three hour trek just to come see me and meet Hannah. This girl is incredible. She is the girl that despite her difficulty conceiving and her long trial with trying to have a baby threw me the most incredible baby shower ever! By the way she is 15 weeks pregnant!

How blessed I am to have such an amazing friend.

A little bit about Rosalie:

She is in a Swing Band called Phat Cat Sw!ngers: Singing and Playing the Keyboard
She works for the town of Apple Valley as an event coordinator
She teaches piano and voice lessons--she has a love of music and musicals
She is incredibly crafty--always creating something beautiful like a scrapbook or craft
She makes me participate in the crafts even though I'm craftarded
She is married to a police officer and is a great wife
She is a great daughter and daughter in law
She was a nanny in New York and considers it her second home
She loves to perform--in addition to her band she also participate in community theater
She can swing dance
She always forgets to charge her phone or loses her charger so our conversations often end abruptly.
She has a love for travel and is not afraid to do something new (Russia)
She has a love for Disney and will go to Disneyland once a week--twice if she can...and always calls me when she's on her way (rude)
She also got engaged in Disneyland in one of the coolest proposals ever...(See Picture)

Basically the day we came home from Russia she got a formal proposal at Disneyland. She wanted to sit by Michael but her brother made her sit by him. After they got off the ride Michael got down on his knee and gave her the picture he bough. Cute eh? Very original.

I just love this girl and I'm so grateful she is in my life! How lucky to have such a great bestie =)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Thats just Wong.

As you can see from my last post Hannah was we decided to ask for a priesthood blessing. We looked in our church directory for the Elders Quorum Presidency because we still don't know very many people in our ward and we don't know who our home teachers are supposed to be. We were going to call the EQP but decided to call the Secretary brother Wong who we discovered lives just down the street. This is the conversation that was had:

Adam: Brother Wong this is Adam Turney. My daughter Hannah is very sick and I was wondering if you would be able to come over for a blessing to anoint her.
Brother Wong: Who is this
Adam: Adam Turney from the Ward
Brother Wong: From Work?
Adam: The Ward
Brother Wong: The war?
Adam: The waaaarrrrrDDDDDDD
Brother Wong: Oh ok....Yeah I just got home from work and I'm very tired so I don't think I can come over but if it is alright I'd like to do it over the phone. What is her name? Hannah?
Adam: I'm pretty sure you have to be here for that.
Brother Wong: No Its ok I do it all the time "Oh Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven...God take this child and wrap her in your arms...squeeze this sickness out of her...bless her body...squeeze the sickness out and heal her...[Imagine another three minutes of this]Oh Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven...AM EUH N! " (not just amen it was aMEUHn)
Adam:....Ok thanks....
Brother Wong: We are in the LAST DAYS and I pray for the world...I pray for the earth. God can take me any time...he didn't take me in Vietnam but he can take me now. God is good.
Adam:...Ok thanks (hangs up)
Adam:(to me) Yeah I don't think that was Brother Wong...

Sure enough we had the Wong number :)

We appreciated his efforts but we ended up getting the EQP =)

Hannah is much better and we are continuing the treatment of the albuterol and whatever other medicine we got (something similar which helps with the bronchial infection.

We appreciate every prayer during the RSV stuff =( It isn't fun but we know that she is being watched over.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Sick Baby

Today someone told me to take Hannah to the Doctor.

Hannah woke up on Tuesday with a bad cold. She had a low grade fever Tuesday night which was taken care of with some children's Tylenol.

I don't want to be one of those mommy's that jump at every little cough or sneeze so I took care of her as best as I could--making sure she got extra sleep and fluids and snuggling in bed with her as much as I could ;)

I didn't want to call the Dr. for a cold.

Thursday she started getting a little raspy when she would breath. I figured it was normal, that I would just watch her and wondered if there was anything the Dr. could do for a cold. I decided she was fine because she's been her happy self and we've had no more fevers or problems.

Friday came and the rasping turned into more of a wheezing and I got really concerned but I told Adam we'd be fine and he could take our car. I'd just keep her home and if she started to be fussy or got a fever then I'd call the Dr.

I was in the shower and something told me that I needed to take her to the Doctor so as soon as I got out I made an apt. and called a friend to take us to the pediatrician.

As soon as Dr. Dani saw Hannah he got concerned and told the nurse to check her immediately for RSV and to check her Oxygen flow.

Her oxygen was at 96% (he was absolutely shocked it was so high by the sound of her chest and back) and she came back positive for RSV. I was so sad and I probably would have cried for her if my friend hadn't been there. I felt like I needed to keep it together for her.

The sad part was when they came out with the breathing machine. We were sent home with one and instructions to give her two different medicines (one 2 times daily, the other every four hours) inside the machine. She hated it and it was hard to restrain her and keep the mask on her face (that is when I almost broke down) but she was breathing much better after that.

We have another apt. tomorrow to determine if she needs to go to the hospital and if not we have a check up on Monday. Please send prayers our way :(

I am grateful for insurance, for a great pediatrician that I trust, for a fat baby whose size makes sickness a lot safer :) and most importantly for the whispering of the Holy Ghost to guide and direct a new inexperienced mommy to take care of her sweet baby.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Happy New Year!

I am very excited for 2010! Last year was fabulous as you can see from my previous blog but this year is so full of many possibilities. Last year the whole year (except for that little bit of randomly buying a house) was mapped out and I knew exactly where I was going pretty much from January 1st to December 15th- After that was a mystery. It is a little scary to walk into the unknown and have a calendar full of blank slates but I'm so excited.

I decided to make my goals a little bit more fun this year. Last year there was a lot of big life changes and serious reflection and goals. This year I have a pretty major goal that I'm keeping to myself right now--not really ready to disclose that one (for fear of falling on my face) but some of the others I am just really looking forward to.

So in no particular order--

1) Celebrate the 21st of every month with some kind of mini party so that we can have something to look forward to for the next 12 months until Elder Marsden comes home! The 21st of January I'm having an Australian BBQ and inviting some of my non member friends over to celebrate (and maybe explain a little more about the church ;)

2) Be a little more creative--Ann Bardsley made some cake plates that I want to try and do next month so that during #3 I can have some decorative plates

3) Have more girls nights in or out. The first one will be in January and I'm planning on having a dessert party (my mom got me a Martha Stewart baking book for Graduation and I'll try a new recipe every month). I really want to cultivate friendships this year and forge those bonds that I've been slacking on.

4) Be more involved in church. This kind of goes along with #3 as well. I want to make more friends within my new ward and become a better visiting teacher.

5) Learn something new! I've been a student all my life and I want to continue to do so. This is a little dorky but I've downloaded a bunch of French podcasts that I want to listen to while I clean or in my down time for 15-30 minutes a day so I can have some more exposure to French. If I do well with this--maybe in a few years I can reward myself with a trip to France!

6) Read a greater variety of books. I love to read but usually the books I chose are fiction/fantasy books. I've decided I'm going to at least read realistic fiction and try to branch out on my genres.

7) Be more flexible. I think it is vital for me that as I learn to be a mom I become more flexible and that I go with the flow. That means I will spend at least a few hours a week of unproductive time with Hannah rather than structured time. This will be hard for me but I think I can do it!

8) Become a better writer. I will practice my writing with a few exercises I've learned and cultivate a talent =)

These are just a few of my goals and reflections for this year. Hopefully we'll have some fun!