Friday, July 29, 2011
Love Story Part 6: We're Dating Part 2
So now you know that Adam was super serious about me, and I was falling in love with him. I was still writing to Drew, who knew all about Adam. Adam and I spent every possible moment of free time together, and when we weren't together I was trying to figure out my love life.
Adam and I did some REALLY fun things. We were planning on going to Utah for 4th of July weekend but at the last minute his mom offered us two plane tickets to California. Adam wanted me to see where he grew up so we decided to go. Soon after that, we were up in Island Park with my family and I was showing Adam around one of MY favorite spots in the world. I even got to take him to Yellowstone for his first trip (my millionth).
I got a call from Aubrey, Adam's sister, asking if I would speak at her baptism in August. Adam said that meant that we would be engaged possibly by the time we went to California for the baptism. I politely listened, knowing that we would NOT be engaged. I was not ready. I went ring shopping anyway.
Adam was seriously certain that we would get married. So sure of himself that on one of our trips to Utah to visit my family, he ended up driving me down to Bountiful and dropping me off at Drew's grandmother's house so I could visit with his mom and brother. When he picked me up after our visit Drew's younger brother Sam pelted Adam's car with fruit. They were cheering for Drew to keep me. Adam persisted in patience.
One thing I learned from Adam was his willingness to serve me. At one point I suggested we not to see each other for a week so I could get my head and heart straightened out with the whole marriage thing. Unfortunatly, during that week I needed to print out about thirty copies of a two page research paper and distribute them to my classmates. He had a computer and a printer and I sent him a message asking if there was anyway he could print it out so I could avoid the ten cents per page printing fee. He said he'd see what he could do. Not only did he print out the copies, he stapled, and hole punched each one of them, and left them on my doorstep along with his weekly love letter. He gave me my space. I didn't know it then but he was demonstrating how he would love me for the rest of eternity. Selflessly.
Adam and I had different views on a lot of things. Not big things, but we were definitely different people. He voiced his dislike of Disneyland as much as I loudly praised it. Nevertheless, for my 20th birthday, he surprised my by flying me out to Disneyland, meeting his family down there to celebrate not only my birthday, but Adam's and his sister Allie's. I felt some pressure from his family, wanting us to get engaged, or at least to plan to get engaged.
Because of his nice birthday surprise, I surprised Adam by flying out to spend Christmas with him and his family. By this point we'd made four or five trips to California and just as many to Utah. We were getting to know our families better and I was beginning to understand that fall semester could possibly be my last at BYU-Idaho.
Yes, I was in love. I still had reservations. I was young. Adam was planning to move to Las Vegas for his Student Teaching. There was still an issue of Drew who I was STILL writing. One night in November Adam asked me if I still loved Drew. I told him I did. We got into an argument. His patience was wearing thin. After all, the girl he'd decided to spend forever with just admitted that she was still harboring feelings for another guy. He thought that because I admitted that, I must be breaking up with him. I thought that because he was upset that he was done. We both thought the other was breaking up. It was awkward. Adam had purchased an engagement ring back in October, sure that if he had one that things would move along. They weren't moving. We ALMOST broke up. I was sitting at my apartment. I realized if I was going to have an out, this was it. This was my chance to get off the train. But then I realized I did NOT want to get off. That is when my letters to Drew stopped for the most part. In mid December I stopped writing to Drew all together, telling him that I was in love with Adam and that no matter what happened with him, I was just holding on to something that had been gone for a long time. By this point, the only communication I'd had with Drew was once a week writing for over a year. I realized that Drew and I had had a PERFECT relationship, untainted by stress or responsibility and that we hadn't been tested. It was a juvenile relationship full of fluff, lacking substance.
I still wasn't sure if I wanted to marry Adam. I knew I loved him but I wasn't ready to commit forever. After much prayer and deliberation, it just somehow came to me one night. That night I went to Adam. I went over to him, sat on his lap and said "If you ask me, I will say yes." Then I left to wait.