Friday, July 29, 2011
Love Story Part 5: We're Dating Part 1
Adam knew about Drew. It was something we had talked about OFTEN and he knew I was still writing to him. Adam decided, that since I received a weekly love letter from this boy who still had a hold of my heart, that he could deal with that, and really compete with it. He started writing me letters, and mailing them, or delivering them to my door. Long, beautiful letters. He was a much better communicator than Drew was, and also had the advantage of seeing me every day.
Once Adam was in, he was all in. I mentioned he wasn't interested in me when we met, but once he decided that it was me he desired, he was doing everything he could to make sure he could hold my interest. Just one week after he asked me to be his girlfriend we had the following conversation.
Adam: "So, basically this relationship is going one of two ways. We are either going to break up, or get married. What do you think we are going to do."
My mind: "Oh my gosh Melissa, this guy is crazy. Run. Run now. You are only 19 and this crazy is talking about getting married. You are not going to marry him. Run."
What I actually said: "Wow. I don't know, don't you think it's a little early to tell?"
Traditionally in "Mormon Land" a typical courtship lasts about three to six months with an engagement lasting 6 weeks to four months. I am not a "traditional Mormon land" type of girl. I think two people should date AT LEAST 8 months at the very earliest. Preferably a year, before they get engaged. Adam was totally anxious to get engaged.
Adam and I met our families about two weeks after we started dating. His brother Addison was going to EFY in Rexburg and his family was on vacation in Park City. I met Addison first, then we drove him down to Utah together, staying first with my family for the night, then heading down to P.C. to drop Addison off. Not only did Adam meet the Marsdens, he met the Crouches...which meant he'd met the most essential people. He made an extra effort to get to know my sister Megan which was important to me. We played Apples to Apples. It was a great time. Meeting his family was good too. I didn't meet Austin at the time, but Aubrey, the youngest came running up to me and said "MICHELLE!" From then on, (for a while at least) I was "Michelle." Adam's dad kept calling me "Merissa," for about the first year. I'm happy to report he knows my name now.
I won't go into all the individual details of our early dating stage, except for one thing. At the end of June, I was down in Utah visiting my family, while Adam stayed up in Rexburg. I desperately wanted to go to my brother's Eagle court of honor, but alas, my roomates were going to be driving back up to Rexburg early Sunday so I would miss it by a few hours. I was all packed up and ready to hit the road with my roomates when the doorbell rang. It was Adam. He'd driven all the way down from Rexburg to pick me up so that we could both attend Sean's court of honor. It really meant a lot to each other, and though we'd only been dating about a month, I was swooning.
That night he asked if I would be willing to reconsider going to Russia. I told him that was a firm no. I was going to go to Russia to teach English, he'd known that since the day we'd met. He said that he was afraid of that...but that he had figured out his schooling and he would be willing to go to Russia with me...as my husband. There he went talking about marriage again. This time it was different though. He was planning to marry me around Thanksgiving time. He knew he wanted me. I was still unsure; however his willingness to put himself out there, to change his life plans for me made me realize just how serious he was. That night, he told me that he loved me, and I told him I loved him back.