Family, isn't it about TIMING?

About a week ago, my awesome missionary cousin wrote an awesome blog about TIME. It is full of great perspective and it got me to think about time in my own life. As I contemplated time my thoughts evolved into the concept of TIMING. After all, don't they say its all about timing?

For almost 10 months I struggled with the desire to have a baby. After a false alarm in my life a little seed was planted in my mind and a desire to try to have a baby grew. I knew it wasn't the right time in my heart. I knew I had to finish school before we started a family due to financial and personal reasons. I worried that the blessing would not come into our lives due to the cancer that had plagued Adam years before. For those ten months the only thing on my mind was getting through school . Taking 18-20 credits was the result fueled by my desire. Getting our finances in order was another result. The stronger the desire for a baby in our family grew, the harder I worked to accomplish my goals. I didn't know how a pregnancy would go, or how it would affect my schooling so I continued to press forward.

Not only this, but my natural desire was opposed by Adam's desire to wait. He'd promised my dad before we were married that I would get my degree. He also knew of my own desire to graduate, and didn't want anything to stand in the way. Adam remained a rock for me and we'd talk about it at times but didn't pursue it further. Dozens of church talks and opinions were thrown our way with the same consensus, we were selfish to wait. Even armed with the words of prophets, we STILL felt in our hearts it was not yet time and although we knew the time was coming we were content to wait.

As I began my final year at UNLV that desire turned into something different...for both of us. We felt the clock had spoken and the time had come. I figured we were a few months away because I was still over nine months away from graduation so we knew that time was not perfect yet. One day we went out to eat at our favorite spot (Red Robin) and out of the blue Adam turned to me and said "It's time we start our family." I knew he was right...but neither of us knew he was a little late. I was already pregnant. We would find out a couple weeks later and we were so happy.

I know several friends who struggle with the concept of timing and this is why I write this post. Not only will I have the baby right in the middle of the second to last, and final semesters (near perfect timing) but I will also have my awesome brother in law off his semester at school to come live with us and take care of the baby while I finish my final semester. So while I can't wait for December to come so I can be a full time stay at home mom, I know that everything is just working out the way it is SUPPOSED to and not the way you think it should.

So my new plan is to stop planning my life. I realize now more than ever that my life is not my own and that I am being led by a loving Father in Heaven who knows way more about my happiness than I do.