Sad Day for Mommy :(

Every mother watches their child hit certain milestones, and every milestone is incredible; however, some milestones rub you raw and bring tears to your eyes. The end of an era, the end of a certain aspect of babyhood or toddlerhood that means your child is growing up. Today I had one of those moments.

I threw away her binkies.

Day one. Grandma forces the binkie =)

Hannah was given a binkie in the hospital and like most new babies she'd suck on it for a few minutes before it worked it's way out of her mouth. My mom was determined to make her a "binkie baby" because "binkie babies are so much more pleasant and easier to sooth." Every time that binkie came out, my mom was right there sticking it back in. Pretty soon when she wasn't eating, a binkie was in her mouth. My mom was right. I don't know if it was because she was such an easy going baby anyway but Hannah never cried. She wouldn't even fuss when her binkie came out. When we'd go on long road trips Hannah never fussed once. We drove from Las Vegas to Utah to Idaho back to Utah and back to Vegas in an 8 day period and she didn't make one sound (at five months). Her first long road trip to California she was 5 weeks old and only cried for 15 minutes in a six hour car ride. The binkie was magical.

We would laugh when she started to crawl and her binkie would pop out and rather than pick it up with her hands she'd dive bomb face first onto her binkie. We would laugh as she got older and wiser and would carry around her red binkie and her green binkie, just so she had options (and she'd switch them out).

I was so grateful for her binkie when she was in surgery. I held onto it (along with her favorite stuffed bear) the whole time, worried about her until I could finally hold her. As you can see from this picture, we took her home and laid her on the couch with her two binkies (you can see the red one poking out from her hand).



Every day of her life for 18 months she had her binkies. Of course we got to the point where she would only use them at night time but with another baby coming I knew it was time for her to give them up. I figured she would put up a major fuss.

One night I just didn't give them to her. She asked for them and I said "nope, big girls don't get binkies." She fussed a tiny bit before falling asleep. The next night it was the same thing. She asked I said no.

She has had them a few times in the last several weeks, but for the most part, she doesn't ask. Today she saw the pile of binkies that I was preparing to throw away and asked for them again. I said "big girls who do puzzles don't need binkies," which has become my favorite saying and she accepts that.

Then she went down for a nap and I threw them away.

And I cried.

I think I need a binkie =)

(This is the last picture of her with her binkie that I took, right before we switched to only night time binkies. I think it is the accessory that makes the picture perfect.)