Saturday, January 22, 2011

A blog in which I complain and give thanks at the same time...

I decided that I needed to write a post about everything I'm grateful for at the moment. There are a lot of things in my life that feel heavy at the moment but amid all the "heavy" I know that it is because we are being blessed.

Things with the Korean girls are pretty tough. Emotionally, I'm always worried about how they are feeling, what they are thinking, if they are in need of anything, if they are happy. They have been with us for two weeks and we have happy times but the end of this week has been rough. They aren't being the best communicators which led to this weeks fiasco of me catching them in MY room going through all my drawers looking for their money. At the beginning, the girls brought me their money and told me that their parents wanted us to hold it for them so they wouldn't lose it or have any problems with it and suddenly the girls decided they wanted it back, so they went through all our drawers until they found it and took it back without saying anything. They also have complained to their parents that they don't get any privacy, they sleep on hard beds (probably because we bought them brand new and nobody has ever slept in them before) and we don't let them talk to their parents enough. This is a problem because we don't have a land line so we purchased minutes for them to call on Skype but we only bought 400 minutes so that means that they can't talk every single now we are getting emails from the mothers asking us to accommodate their children while we are bent over backwards trying to make them happy campers already. It is tough.

But enough about some of the heavy. I am really grateful for the opportunity to serve them and I hope that I can be better. I really want them to be happy here and I am praying to be better for them. I am praying that they will be happy, but hey, it's tough when you are nine years old and you are away from home for 2 months. There will be sad times.

My health hasn't been the greatest this week either which makes it difficult to care for an 18 month old and two nine year old's. Hopefully I'll feel better next week, but in the mean time I guess I'll just suck it up.

Ok, I really didn't mean to complain again. I didn't. The reason why I wanted to write this is because I had such a tender moment with Hannah tonight. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just reading her stories and playing Pop Goes the Weasel and All Around the Garden. She was cracking up like a mad man and it was such a warm feeling to listen to that laugh. It reminded me that all of this was worth it, just in one little smile and one little giggle it made everything worth it.

Also, I couldn't have married a better man. Adam is wonderful. He is wonderful with the girls, he is wonderful with Hannah, he serves me and cares for me and works hard for our family. Adam is my rock. Adam is the glue. I don't give him enough credit for everything he does for me and our little family but he really is my knight in shining armor. He is absolutely my hero and I couldn't be luckier. At the time we were dating I was also writing two missionaries and I had a difficult decision. Do I marry him or do I see how other relationships pan out. The answer was so simple, he loved me best. He loved me better than anyone and that made me fall in love with him. I am so blessed beyond words.

Then there is my brother. I will write him one last email tonight. I've probably written him 100 emails. I think I only missed 4 weeks total. We've discussed everything from the mundane to the profound. I am grateful for my brother. I'm grateful for his service. I'm grateful that I have gotten closer to him over the last two years. Most importantly, I am grateful that in just a few short days, I will pick my daughter up and hand her to her uncle, and when he says "who loves uncle Sean" she will say "me."


Bea said...

And who does Uncle Sean love? Hannah
You are doing a great job of serving and loving just keep doing it.
I think you are the best
Who loves Melissa? Me!!!!!

Melinda said...

Skype to Skype calls would be free-if their parents were to get a free skype account they could video and voice chat for free. We did this for a family in our ward where the sister is from Ukraine so she could talk to her parents face to face for Christmas one year. All you would have to do is coordinate what time you would both be online. Is there any way that their parents could get a skype account to fix that? Cory offered to do a skype call to their parents and talk to them in Korean and let them know how much you are doing for their girls already :-P He also said that if anything gets really bad, though, contact the program coordinator since they are required to adhere to certain program rules in order to stay; the program wants to stay in good standing with all current and future host families.

I hope you are feeling better today and continue to feel better. Being a mom and feeling under the weather is definitely the worst thing in the world!

Georgia said...

Thanks for sharing your tender thoughts and feelings in this blog post. You are dealing with some difficult situations and yet finding the beauty in every day...this is what life is all about. You have grown into such a mature mother and wise woman, Melissa.

As for those little girls staying at your house, I think you are doing a terrific job. Don't doubt your instincts on caring for them, the time will speed by and they'll be on their way home soon, but you will have the memory of this time forever and it will become more and more meaningful (to you and them) as time goes passes.

The one thing I had to chuckle about was the hard bed thing! Koreans have the hardest beds in the whole world! How could they complain about the beds. There is NO WAY you could have purchased a bed as hard as anything we slept on even in the nicest hotels when we stayed in Korea. Kevin said he slept on the floor for two years and that most Koreans do that. Those two little pills have nothing to complain about with U.S. beds.

Hang in there. You have had a whole lot of cultural training to do in such a short time to two very young people, but this experience will truly change lives for the better.

Stephanie said...

Oh Melissa! I would feel the same way you do :) You have such a great outlook! I'm sure you are doing a very fine job of taking care of the Korean girls you are an amazing person. Oh, and Hannah? She absolutely ADORES you :) as does that big lug you've got around the house! Love ya lots!

Stephanie said...

Oh, I agree with Melinda's husbands comment by the way. (you aren't suppose to shoulder all of that) & I do hope you feel better :) because it really is hard to be mom and sick.

Lisa said...

I can't imagine dong what you are doing! You are doing great and will be blessed for it. Hang in there and feel better.