I have spent countless hours on my knees in my lifetime. Many of those hours seemed wasted, fruitless, and lonely. I would sob, begging my Father in Heaven for something I thought I wanted or needed desperately. I felt my prayers go unanswered.
Tonight as I type this my daughter is in her crib...pleading, screaming for me to come and rescue her from the darkness. She is in pain because she has been teething. She wants me to scoop her up and hold her. But it is night night time.
I know that what is best for her is sleep. Since 6 am she hasn't slept more than an hour and a half. I can see the tired look in her eyes. I know she needs sleep but she fights it. She won't fall asleep in my arms and she needs to learn how to soothe herself and fall asleep.
It is not easy for me. I hear every cry and every inch of me wants to scoop her up in my arms and hold her always until all the pain goes away. However, I know that she needs to learn. She needs to take those steps toward independence and self reliance.
So tonight I feel humbled and have received a closer glimpse into the great eternal plan for a loving Father who knows what is best for us. I feel right now that I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and my heart aches and I am grateful that I have the knowledge she will be alright. I know she is crying out for me. It hurts. Parenting can hurt. But I know once she starts to learn to go "ni-night" it will be worth the heartache.